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A Cold Splash of Reality

by Mistina Picciano  ||   No Comments

We arrived at my aunt’s house near Taichung shortly after midnight last Wednesday – roughly 28 hours after a car service picked up my mother and me in Midtown Manhattan. I slept very little on either of our two flights and wanted nothing more than to crawl into bed.

Mom pointed me to the bathroom to wash up and brush my teeth. Along with my toiletries, I grabbed nightclothes. My aunt saw this and went into the bathroom to start a bath.

A warning bell went off.

Yes, I was a foreigner, but I was still a healthy, active adult. Why would bathing require assistance?

When in Rome…

I looked into the bathroom and saw a huge plastic pail in the small bathtub. My exhausted brain was putting two and two together and coming up with seven.

My mother pointed out a pink plastic scoop. “You use that to pour the water over you, remember?”

No, I definitely did not remember that from my trip in 2006. The situation was producing flashbacks of my grandmother bathing me in a steel washtub with a water hose during a visit when I was four.

The bath itself was pretty miserable. I was freezing, tired, cranky… and grateful to have the opportunity to experience my mother’s culture, enjoying the hospitality of family.

It also made me realize how many things we take for granted.

Routine reality checks

Take relationships, for instance. Once we’re out of the honeymoon stage, it’s very easy to take those closest to us for granted.

As business owners and sales people focus on developing new client relationships, we need to maintain the ones we have.

We can’t risk assuming that everything is going well. Instead, we have to reach out and make sure that clients are getting everything they expect – and then some – by asking.

One of two things will happen:

  • Clients will either tell us that they love us – and why.
  • Or they’ll give us an earful of where we’re falling short.

Either way, it’s a win-win situation.

In the latter case, inviting criticism can have the same effect as a cold bath when we’re craving a hot shower. But this is exactly the kind of feedback we need to make our product or service better. It could even rescue a troubled relationship.

And if things are going well? We need to take notes and highlight this – the real value we bring – in our marketing copy.

Often, what we think matters to clients differs from the things they really care about.

But we’ll never know if we don’t ask.

What might you be taking for granted in your business? Or how have you freed yourself from this complacent mindset?

Small Steps

by Mistina Picciano  ||   No Comments

“A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.” – Lao-tzu

Have you read David Allen’s Getting Things Done? This book is an amazing guide to doing more. I’ve even picked up the OmniFocus application for both my computer and my iPhone to help manage my to-do list.

Too bad I’m not so disciplined about using the system.

One of the key principles that Allen writes about is the need to break huge projects into small, actionable steps. It’s the same concept used by that super-achieving minority who set goals and make them happen.

Identify specific, time-sensitive outcomes and create a specific plan of execution.

Yet, what do I have under my goal of “Complete my novel by year end”?

Nada. Zip. Just a daily reminder in my calendar to write 500 words every morning, which I usually ignore.

Step by step

Most of us have at least one big project on our to-do list. Maybe it’s something in the Someday/Maybe category, like writing the Great American Novel, or perhaps it’s something more pressing and practical, such as launching a monthly email campaign or creating a sales system.

Identify the specific outcome. To get there, we need to figure out where, exactly, “there” is. What does the end result look like? In the case of my novel, I want a draft I can shop around to agents.

Set a deadline. Without a deadline, we have no sense of urgency, and something more pressing always comes up. If you really want to get something done, you need to commit to doing it by a specific point in time.

Take a reality check. Outcomes and deadlines need to be tempered with reality. While I’d love to knock out that novel by June 30, that probably won’t happen in light of other commitments. However, I do write quickly, and this goal is important. With some sacrifices and persistence, a good draft by December 31 can happen.

Create an action plan. As a two-time NaNoWriMo “winner,” I’ve proven that I can write much garbage in a short period of time. Free-writing for long stretches is a legitimate way of writing a novel, but it involves much, much rewriting.

Given that I have a few distractions – like a growing business and a new husband – I’m going to spend more time planning in hopes of saving myself some time writing. So here are my next steps:

  • Draft an outline of the overall story arc (10-20 scenes).
  • Write a summary of each individual scene.
  • Create backgrounds on main characters (protagonist and antagonist).
  • Create backgrounds on supporting characters.
  • Track subplots in a separate document.
  • Track necessary research in a separate document.

As I work through the above steps, which I’ll chart on a calendar, I’ll start the daily writing process. (Unfortunately, there’s no getting around the grunt work of sitting down and actually writing.) Reaching my December 31 goal for a polished draft means I’ll need an aggressive schedule: 750-800 words a day. I should have a rough draft in four months, which leaves eight months for rewriting.

Track your progress. Follow the plan as best you can. Adjust the timeline as necessary, but keep moving ahead. Accept the fact that everything takes longer than we think it will, and celebrate your successes along the way.

What big project have you been putting off? Why not commit to it here and now and create an action plan for marking it off your to-do list?

If you have any suggestions to help others tackle big goals, we’d love to hear them.

Brilliant Beginnings

by Mistina Picciano  ||   No Comments

As I write this, it’s January 12 – or January 13, depending on your geography. (Since I’m presently flying over Alaska toward Japan, I feel caught between dates.) Regardless, we’re darn close to the start of the New Year. New resolutions, new beginnings.

For Mom and me, it’s the start of our latest adventure: three weeks in Taiwan with family.

For me and my business (and my writing life), today also marks the start of this new blog.

Beginnings always create unrealistic expectations of greatness. We feel the need to show our brilliance. This nasty pressure especially plagues writers, who so often give up on their craft because they’re disappointed with early attempts.

It’s okay to suck.

In Bird by Bird, one of the best books on writing I’ve ever read, Anne Lamott says it’s okay to write “really [crappy] first drafts.”

This isn’t just sound advice; it’s almost a universal mandate. Papa Hemingway himself said, “The first draft of anything is [doodoo].”

You have to write the garbage to get the gold.

It doesn’t matter if you’re writing the Great American Novel, a sales letter, or an e-book. With very rare exception, our first attempts fall way short of brilliance.

Sure, these initial scribblings may get the job done. Writing a memo to your boss? Just the facts will probably suffice.

But if you really want your writing to stand out, you must embrace the art of the rewrite.

Ninth time’s the charm?

Almost one year ago, the very talented Liz Martinez invited me to submit a short story for an anthology on Native American noir. I decided to take the plunge, seizing an opportunity to learn more about my Native American heritage.

My story came together over several months, many sessions of which felt like certain NaNoWriMo adventures. I’d sit at my computer or take a notebook and pen and write whatever drivel came to mind. Much of it sounded like crapola, but I had to forge ahead to the end.

Due to time constraints, I showed the complete, imperfect draft to my husband, one of my biggest fans – and one of my most direct critics. Tony offered praise and pointed out current plot holes.

I smiled, nodded, silently vowed not to do his laundry for the next three months, and went back to my keyboard. Roughly 50% of the story changed in the next draft.

We went through this exercise twice more before submitting the story for editorial review.

Then, Sarah Cortez, Liz’s sharp and insightful co-editor, gently guided me through the real revision process. While I’ve worked with editors in the business world, fiction editing was another animal. Together, we produced five more drafts before arriving at the final story that was submitted to the publisher.

The process, not the product.

So much in life comes down to the process, not simply the end product. For instance, I know very few writers who actually enjoy writing, but almost all enjoy the satisfaction of having written a solid piece.

Becoming a better writer – whether you’re a blogger, a marketing writer, a journalist, or a novelist – means giving yourself permission to write badly.

  • Write in great quantities.
  • Accept your malformed early drafts for what they are.
  • Make them better.
  • Rinse and repeat. Again.

Whatever the challenge ahead, attack it with gusto. Accept the fact that success may involve many failed attempts. It’s the courage to fail – and to learn from our mistakes – that will ultimately transform our dreams into reality.

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